I Don’t Need a Lot of Friends To Be Happy

Understanding the value in situational friendships. They are what they are. No more, no less.


Expecting other people to care about me has been complicating my life. It seems setting realistic expectations for situational friendships is difficult for me.

The result is one-sided relationships ending in disappointment, grief and anger. With each incident, I have been shrinking deeper and deeper into my solitary beige existence.

A new perspective on the situation came to light recently as my beige life turned green for a day.

St. Patrick’s Day is a delicious time of year when local restaurants feature a St. Patrick’s Day special menu. Think corned beef and hash brunch, piping hot Reuben egg rolls dipped in sweet and tangy sauce and the most amazing Reuben sliders just dripping with mouthwatering goodness.

Hop on the trolley and head west to a favorite dessert café sure to be serving up some green merriment of their own. Add some very “happy” young companions partaking of the downtown trolley for their bar hopping transportation and you have the recipe for an entertaining night on the town.

We should invite friends to join us, but I’m ruling out every couple I know for various reasons — culinary aversions, money woes, too popular to have a social calendar opening, afraid of downtown activities … Suffice it to say I can’t think of any people who would fully enjoy the nuances of this scenario as much as my husband and me.

This is the moment I realize that I am eliminating possibilities because I don’t want to invite anyone to join us. I tell my husband that something is definitely wrong with me and his reply snapped me out of what feels like a hypnotic state.

He said, “I don’t need a lot of friends. I have never needed a lot of friends to be happy.”

Well now. That seems so simple. Why have I not considered this uncomplicated idea a valid option for living my life?

All these years I thought I was doing life wrong. Turns out if I’m happy having only one or two long term friends, then it’s okay to live with mostly short-term situational friendships.



Tammy Hader - Author of Walking Old Roads

Ex-accountant, lifetime cat lover and avid wearer of hats. Author of Walking Old Roads available on Amazon.com. Visit me at https://tammyhader.com.